Bullying is an old school topic before the birth of twitter, facebook and other such related social media.Social Media has a good reputation but as the time goes by some people misuses it. In the beginning, I believe its not so bad because you can connect with your long lost friends, classmate and even relatives that living in the other sides of the world without so much cost. Exchanging news or whats going on in your life( And because of that I even register a FB account to all my kids) I may sounds naive but I did because I feel nothing is wrong with communicating with their classmate or friends; of course with my supervision and educate them the Do’s & Don’t (unaware of what lies in the future).For how many years now nothing serious happen and everything were fine until recently someone in twitter bully her(My balerina daughter).
(Above is the screenshot of the fake account used to bully my daughter, I cover the inappropriate words use)
I cant fathom what I read because all post were below the belt and rude for 14 years old girl. She dont even have her first love or boyfriend experience then here it comes… post to twitter in public, destroying and humiliating her verbally and emotionally. At first my husband and I were furious about it and I nearly loose temper.In my head… if I will find out who is she/he, I will just grab and beat him/her scarily(good thing Im still in control & we dont know who did it).
We communicate with our school and inform the Headmaster about it( in view of the conversation it looks like from within) They investigated it but it goes nowhere. I tried to report it in twitter help section but no success since it required the account name which already deleted. Its history!
We learned from this experience. We realized that Family communication is very important to tackle this kind of topic or situation. We (Husband and I)are fortunate to established or able to build that kind of communication and relationship with our kids. My daughter, in spite of the hurt and embarrassment, she handles it well. Her spirit is strong enough to overcome this crazy stuff.Some signs manifested if you know your kids very well.
Here is the signs we noticed:
1. She’s a happy kid, she suddenly become quiet.
2. She’s irritable when ask of something.
3. Usually she sleep in her room; if she ask, if she can sleep with us in our room (that’s a red lights; it means she’s in trouble or something bother her)
We waiting for her to open up but before it happens, a friend of mine send me the above screenshot and it really furious us. Then we immediately called our daughter and went to school. She shows disinterested behavior at first, maybe because she dont want us to act rash assumption of the situation. We set aside our upsetting emotions because we care for her more (how she feels) than those fallacious news that spread in the school. We asked her how she is? Then she vulnerable hug us and said nothing(I believe she needs us more in that moment). I was surprised, as her parents on that moment we did nothing except saying comforting words(when earlier of the news we are so furious)
Here are some comforting words we told her:
1. The people and friends knows you won’t believe those kind of hearsay.
2. You know who you are and dont give in that kind of rude attention.
3. Envious people usually used harsh words to depict someone opposite of them because they can never be good as you.
4. Ignore it and show them that your not affected of their rudeness, eventually it will die and nobody cares anymore.
5. Handle it with open mind but don’t back down.
6. Explanations is only for guilty ones.
7. Go to school the next day in spite of the situation;show them your not afraid and you are strong.
8. To win in a battle from your secret enemy is to ignore them.
9. Don’t be ashame of yourself because you did nothing wrong, they should be ashame of themselves because they did that to you.
10. We love you and no matter what happen, we always here for you as one.
I think those comforting words and not acting rush on the situation really help her to handle it well. I think its very important for her how we feel. Showing that we are not affected of the hearsay gave her more confidence as a person. The next day when we talked about it and told her how we follow up in school, she shows no more fear and shame. She even suggested that its difficult to find the culprit because the account is deleted.
We are proud of her because shes very strong now and more matured. Good job Snowflake(our pet~name for her)We wish all our children will over come all the difficulties they encounter in the future and I hope it stop there. Just sharing my sentiments.