I have this thought today” when Love becomes a duty”, It upset me in a way because the things you thought special becomes a duty. It feels like that person you cared so much don’t see you anymore as before; yet an obligation. Im so naive when it comes to Love; to me it is everlasting and should feel it every moment,so my expectation from my beloved is to reciprocate it the same way. I don’t know if this is just hormones but Im becoming more sensitive this days.
In the past I used to hear sweet-nothings thingy that tickles my whole body. When I hear this words utter ” I know you even before you know yourself” or ” we meet million years ago in the past and you just dont recognize me; It’s wierd right? but somehow it’s give me kilig (a kind of feelings that gives you goosebumps or chills) but seldom I replied coldly or brush it off not that I dont like it but its kinda tacky (it blush my cheek). Honestly, I really like it but awkwardness viel my entirety; in short I’m not a fancy person.
I believe everyone is bless to expercience this kind of affection towards special someone; this kind of intimate and sacred feelings that holds you dear . And I believe that it can only comes once in your lifetime and the rest is just expercience. its difficult to find that someone with the same wavelength, commitment and undying love for you.In the course of time it falter or test how strong that bond is.We as a couple have so many contributions to that test. The humorous in it are not even worth to argue because some are childish. And the best thing is after a hard fight and not giving in , we end up talking about how we love each other (which cost us the whole night) then we get sober, make peace and remind us that we cant live without each other. Once instances in that peace making; my beloved says” If you can only see through my eyes; how beautiful you are and you will never worry no more”. Its a great feelings of security . Then years passed by and still the same. I conceived and delivered four healthy humans. For that I got insecure because of the changes in my body yet my beloved will whisper ” your still sexy and the lines in your tummy were sexier because it proves carrying our seeds of love”. Its really chessy yet it gives back my confidence and lift my spirit.
After more years, our conversation changes from swèet tongues to normal one. We still talk about problems,how our children or even politics that I hate. We end up over and over in an argumentative way and make up in the same all the time then it becomes a habit. I realize today that we become so comfortable that we taken for granted what we have in the past and right now. The love becomes a duty that it feels like it dictates an obligation to make your relationship work because you are responsible on that person. Life has norms to follow and duties are one of them but my perception to it should not be only that way. Love should not falter or change its form; Its should be expercience every moment of your daily life with all sorts of challenges and only then you can rest. My heart shouting out” I don’t like this way, I want the old us”(the passionate and intimate us) well I guess I have to continue this life to know what future store for us in there. Its a very long way but I have to pray that Love is Everlasting.